I like to journal about strange occurrences in my life.
During my retail days I kept a journal of strange and interesting events that took place. I planned on writing a book someday about the crazy-ness that is retail through the eyes of a store manager, but it has already been done (nothing in life is original). If you worked retail or in any field where you had to deal with
jerks customers, then check out Pretending You Care. Hilarious!
While it’s been a few years since I parted ways with retail, I have resorted once again to jotting down my life as a new mom. Ummm…why the heck didn’t anyone tell me half this stuff before I got preggo? I thought I would share some of these “moments” with you.
2/15: An outing to the grocery store and Costco:
I drive a Honda Element. A vehicle equipped with suicide doors. I pulled the car into the parking lot of the grocery store and I ponder why I have decided to visit the store on a Saturday. The parking lot is full but I find a spot near the front. Cha-Ching!
I open my door, pull my purse over my head sling style and then open Finn’s door – the suicide door. I realize I am too close to the vehicle next to me and my purse keeps bumping into Finn’s door when I reach for his carseat which pushes the door into the vehicle parked next to me. I close Finn’s door and squeeze myself close to my car as I pull my purse over my head since it is getting in the way. The strap of my purse gets stuck on the hood of my jacket. I pull harder on the purse which then snaps the hood off my jacket (secured by snaps). I mutter a cuss word and throw my purse back into the car. I open Finn’s door again, release his carseat and attempt to pull his seat out of the car, but I forgot to move the driver’s seat forward. The Element was not made for carseats. I place the carseat back into the base, close Finn’s door, and then reach under the driver’s seat to pull it forward. I grab Finn’s carseat once again and carefully pull it out of the car without letting the doors hit the car next to me. I have to put the carseat on the ground to close Finn’s door, then lift it again to make room to close the driver’s door. I fumble for the keys in my pocket and lock the car and lift the carseat into the crook of my arm and make my way toward the grocery store entrance only to realize I have left my purse in the vehicle. I mutter another cuss word and turn around to get my purse.
Ten minutes later we are in the grocery store and Finn begins to fuss.
I give up. The Element Won. Finn won.
Element: 1/Finn: 1/Jen: 0
Motherhood is a trip.